Breaking the Positive Thinking Myth

Article by Max Maisel, PhD Clinical Psychologist Practicing in Redondo Beach and Los Angeles, California

There are countless self-help books, pop psychology articles, and positive thinking "gurus" on social media platforms that encourage their readers to, essentially, think their worries away. You've probably heard one of the many iterations of "focus on the positive," "be grateful," or my personal [least] favorite, "everything happens for a reason." While there is certainly truth to the idea that the thoughts in your mind can have drastic effects on the feelings and sensations in your body, you may inadvertently be adding fuel to your anxiety fire if you have been using positive self-talk to combat your anxiety. Some of the most common forms of self-talk that can have potentially deleterious effects on anxiety or OCD are: positive affirmations ("I am deserving of success"), self-reassurance (e.g., "nothing bad will happen, don't worry"), mental problem-solving or reviewing (e.g., overanalyzing; running through various outcomes and how you would cope), and thought suppression or replacing (e.g., suppressing "bad" thoughts or replacing them with "good" thoughts).

Read below for the top 4 reasons these methods can lead to more anxiety in the long run:

1. Try this quick mental experiment. Close your eyes for 30 seconds and try really, really hard not to think of the phrase "pink elephant." Ready, go!

How did it go? If you are like most people, either the phrase "pink elephant" took up most of your thinking space or you had to exert quite a bit of effort to keep the thought at bay. If you were able to do this, how did you know you weren't thinking about pink elephants? The trap here is that, by default, trying not to think of something focuses our mind on that very subject! When you think positively, you are automatically thinking negatively, since negative is the opposite side of the "positive" coin. For example, if you are anxious about an upcoming trip and think "everything is going to be okay," your anxious mind will have a very hard time not recognizing the opposite option (e.g., "everything will go horribly wrong") and reminding you of this possibility. Sound familiar?

2. Anxiety and OCD thrive off uncertainty. They are like uncertainty black holes, and the more you try to fill this hole with affirmations, positive thinking, or prayer, the more your anxiety will demand.

If you think about it, you can never prove anything won't happen with 100% certainty. When you try to do this, you will ultimately fail, leading you to be even more anxious at the idea that something could go wrong. Also, when you are constantly reassuring yourself or seeking reassurance from others, you might feel better in the moment, but your anxiety or OCD will continue to demand even more reassurance next time. You never have the opportunity to practice living with discomfort and uncertainty, which are two ingredients needed to live life unfettered by anxiety.

3. People with anxiety and OCD tend to be highly self-critical individuals. When they try to "think positively" or get rid of painful thoughts, they will inevitably fail.

Perhaps not at first, but it's only a matter of time that anxiety or OCD will rear its ugly head and positive self-talk will fall through. This only fuels the fire of harsh self-criticism and feeling unworthy or weak. When one is feeling down in this way, their nervous system goes on high alert, which is likely to create even more unwanted worries and uncomfortable anxiety symptoms.

4. Trying to elicit the feeling of happiness is a trap. While you might feel happy and comforted temporarily after telling yourself that everything will be okay, at some point, that feeling will fade.

All emotions, positive and negative, are like weather patterns that come and go. When we put too much energy into trying to feel one way (e.g., happy) or avoid feeling a different way (e.g., sad; anxious), it can be crushing when inevitably the tides turn and our unwanted inner experiences (e.g., intrusive thoughts; panicky feelings; worries; dread; tension) find their way back into your life. When you focus too much on thinking positively, you are bound to feel defeated and even more anxious when this occurs.

Not only can positive thinking or unhelpful self-talk paradoxically create more anxiety in the long run, but there is an even more vicious tax associated with this. When you are spending time and energy battling anxiety with your thoughts, you are losing the rich, precious, and beautiful moments that are happening in the here-and-now, the world right around you. It can be very difficult to truly be present with the people that matter most to you or the activities that give life meaning when you are caught in a firefight with anxiety and worry.

Summary:

Even though it's espoused by many sources, positive thinking and self-talk can actually have negative effects on your anxiety or OCD. This isn't the case all of the time, but it's important to look at your own history of using self-talk and to ask yourself two questions: "How helpful has this been in the long term for my anxiety?" and "What have the costs of this been?" (e.g., taking away your presence; exerting undue mental energy; needing to use more and more self-talk over time, etc). Fortunately, there are several science-based tools that are shown to be very effective at managing anxiety and OCD without the same negative consequences that positive self-talk can have. Keep an eye out for our next blog post titled "Hacking Your Inner Dialogue to Overcome Anxiety or OCD."

To learn more about ways that you can overcome anxiety or OCD, please reach to Beachfront Anxiety Specialists by calling (213) 218-3080  or by sending a message through the CONTACT page. Clinicians treat anxiety online or in-person in our offices in Redondo Beach and Los Angeles, CA.